spouting off

LuLu wanted to
way down yonder where the dolphins play

where you dive and splash all day

waves roll in and waves roll out

see the water squirting out of your spout
Raffi

wish you and yours a peaceful, happy, healthy new year!!!
from me, too...

half-baked fruitcake

last night was the second FNSI for december ... unlike Auntia, i didn't get an early start ... i know, i know, i know that it was the one week anniversary of her 24th birthday, but jeez-louise enough already ... anywho ... i worked on the last of the embroidered teapots for the PPSS BOM quilt...

we're three little teapots - short and stout
that's 24 of them and i am done ... and the next time i get a brilliant idea that involves paper-piecing and embroidery, would somebody please smack me upside the head?!?

last year i fell in love with Figgy Pudding by Basic Grey for Moda ... but i waited for it to go on sale at my lqs and missed out on all but the peppermint/brown/ice blue ... so when i found out that this year Basic Grey was gonna have Fruitcake, i ordered a layer cake and two charm packs, sight unseen ... i really should have waited ... fruitcake is okay, but it ain't figgy pudding ... anywho ... i had the precuts and bought a bit of yardage so i could make christmas packages with the layer cake and a smaller version with the charm packs ... except i didn't really like making the christmas package blocks and i was sure that making twice as many of the same block with 5 inch squares instead of 10 inch squares was not gonna be something i'd ever make myself do ... so i decided to try out the Lil Twister that Auntia bought for me with some of her shop hop winnings on the charm packs ... i sewed 81 of the charms together into a big square with a three inch border all around and then started whacking away with a rotary cutter and the Lil Twister ... we don't have a design wall, so i cut and sewed one row at a time and ended up with this...it looks wavy cuz i was too tired to straighten it out on the floor
which is kinda cool considering that the pinwheels didn't require cutting any triangles or matching any points even if i am not all that crazy about most of the fabric ... i like these little guys...think they're getting dizzy?
they look like little snowmen marshmallows swirling around in a cup of hot chocolate ... anywho ... i worked on the twisted fruitcake last night after i finished embroidering the teapots ... i was ready to put on the outer border of my one and only figgy pudding fabric...bleck!!!
oh. no. that is not gonna work ... so the little flimsy is folded up and put away till i finish with the layer cake blocks - maybe there will be a bit of border fabric left for twisted fruitcake

the oven timer just went off and now i am gonna go eat a big piece of chicken pot pie cuz that's how i roll

what would YOU do?

well ... Mr. Modem seems to have had a change of heart ... and i'm gonna post a picture or two

Auntia said that she wanted a white chocolate raspberry cake for her birthday ... i tried to tell her that raspberries are outta season and if she really wanted a white chocolate (seriously?!? white chocolate?!? why bother?!?) raspberry cake, she should have been born in summer ... anywho ... i had to go to the store to buy the raspberries and cake mix and frosting and white chocolate chips... and that's not counting the eggs and oil and flour and oven time
after a gazillion trips up and down the same aisles looking for things i don't normally buy like white chocolate i realized that it was getting really, really late ... it was dark ... and cold ... and i knew that when i made it back home i still had to bake the lasagna and make a salad before i could start in on the cake ... and there was the FNSI list to consider...
i took a quick walk around the bakery and found this...white chocolate (check) raspberry (check) ... gasp ... already ready
i felt like John Quinones ... what would YOU do? trim a quilt or bake a cake ... trim a quilt or bake a cake ... so i kept the cake ingredients in the cart ... and added the already-made but incredibly expensive cake, too ... then i went home and told the birthday girl who was busy ignoring the sinks full of dirty dishes that i'd decided to splurge and give her a fancy bakery cake instead of a homely, homemade one ...... seriously, what would you do?
trim the quilt and eat the cake!!!

thor ... thumb

our Internet connection has been in the toilet for the past week and i haven't been able to blog or read blogs or surf or spend any money online wah wah wah ... our local DSL provider says that a new modem will be the answer to our connection problems can you tell that i am not convinced?!? and it will arrive on monday give or take a week or two... posting tomorrow for FNSI is iffy cuz i have to beg and plead with our link to puh-lease let me finish my online work ... so i am going to schedule this to post tomorrow morning, even though i am writing it today and some of it hasn't happened yet...

december 10th is Auntia's 24th birthday ... by this time 24 years ago, i knew i had given birth to a screamer ... to celebrate, Auntia slept in ... and then we went to renew her learner's permit ... i know ... i know ... believe me, i know that she is eight years overdue for upgrading from learner's permit to license ... anywho ... per the sign on the door the first office that we went to has been closed since august due to budget cuts ... i was suspicious when we called the listed number to find out what their hours are and it went to a disconnect recording - even though it is still listed on the Colorado DMV general information number ... i guess budget cuts have affected being able to update recordings, too ... anywho, armed with the address for one of the five offices that are still in existence to serve a metro area with almost 3 million people, we went searching for 500 malley drive in Northglenn ... who knew that there wasn't enough money in the budget for Northglenn to put block numbers on street signs ... i considered going home to Yahoo map the address but then i remembered that the Internet connection is iffy ... so we drove around Northglenn for a while and finally spotted a sign in a rundown-beat-up-seen-better-days strip mall that said "driver licence" ... i guess it's the best that our budget-deficit state can manage even though licensing and fees have done nothing but go up and up and up ... i sat down and waited while Auntia stood in line to get a number ... sat down and waited for an hour ... number was called ... stood in line for another 20 minutes ... information was exchanged ... sat down ... name was called ... money was exchanged ... stood in line for another 20 minutes ... picture was taken ... stood around some more ... name was called ... learner's permit was handed over ... i can't think of a more exciting and fun way to spend a birthday than listening to over a hundred peoples' life stories about why they need their licenses reinstated/renewed/issued ... there are privacy laws for the line at the pharmacy cuz we wouldn't want some dude to be embarrassed when he's picking up his erectile dysfunction pills - but if your driver's license/state id/learner's permit has seen better days, the whole world gets to hear all of the sordid details ... okay, nuff said about that

by the time we were finished it was past lunchtime and i asked Auntia where she wanted to go for lunch...
Taco Bell
groan
Taco Bell is okay for fast food when i don't have anything else to do but hang around the loo for the next day or two, but a birthday lunch oughta be ... well ... more ... like sitting down and having my food brought to me ... and the dirty dishes taken away ... a refreshing after-dinner mint would be appreciated ... but it was not my birthday ... so i sat through the drive-through line at Taco Bell and bought her the Chicken Enchilada Grilled Stuft Burrito Combo ... then i took her home and she opened her presents which are almost all quilt-related and she watched John Cena's guest appearance on one of the stoopid talk shows that have replaced soap operas for daytime television ... the rest of this is gonna be what i HOPE happens, since it hasn't happened yet...

earlier this week i finished quilting the "eff" quilt , took it off the frame, and Thor has been loaded with Auntia's christmas present ... i am gonna try to get some of it quilted if Auntia can get her Thumb to agree to go near enough to thread some bobbins ... and i'm gonna help Auntia trim the "eff" quilt ... i am also gonna work on one of the embroidered teapots ... and maybe i'll make a bit of progress on the twisted fruitcake ... i have to bake and frost a cake, too ... and sing happy birthday to her

rule of thumb

this is Thor...i used to believe that Thor's last name was Svenson ... but now i know that he is a member of the Batrastardson clan
this is the flimsy that Auntia loaded onto Thor's quilting frame...oooo!!! Lakehouse Hydrangeas!
to quilt for Michael Myson ... she loaded the bobbins and threaded Thor ... she put on her ear buds and started to stitch ... i was in the magick shoppe working on some fruitcake christmas packages ... i heard the usual colorful words that are muttered whenever one of us is trying to get Thor to cooperate ... i didn't pay much attention ... i was rocking with the Steve Miller Band when i heard an urgent
can you come help me?!? please?!?
i sighed and muttered
coming
can you hurry?!? please?!?
i'm coming! okay ... what?!?
could you please help me ... my thumb is stuck on the machine
your thumb is what?
my thumb whimper ... is whimper stuck ... on the needle whimper whimper... please help me!
oh ... my ... gawd...
there was Auntia ... leaning over the quilting frame ... with her thumb impaled on Thor's big fat needle...that is one big fat needle!!!
all the way through my baby girl's thumb ... i took hold of her hand and slid it down and off the needle ... and cut the thread that was embedded in it ... and followed her up the six stairs to the kitchen ... i pulled out the thread and held her hand under cold running water ... rinse and squeeze ... rinse and squeeze ... again and again and again ... the bleeding stopped and i turned to take two or three steps to get a kleenex to wrap around her thumb...
thump ...
thud ...
thwack...
i turned back to find my baby girl crumpled face down on the kitchen floor ... i carefully rolled her over ... her eyes were open and i said
what hurts, baby girl?
my thumb!
okay ... what else?
my head!
she closed her eyes ... opened them ... and groaned
and now i know that
1) when Auntia faints, it is with her eyes open and she talks just like when she's asleep
and b) i should never leave her alone with Thor Batrastardson
and thirdly) i need to make her sit down with her head between her knees if she has been injured ... even if she insists that she is okay

she is bruised from head to shoulder/elbow/wrist to hip/knee/ankle ... and her thumb hurts ... she is refusing to go anywhere near Thor and this is a direct quote doesn't care if that effing quilt ever gets effing quilted cuz she effing hates it...

the fingers must be educated, the thumb is born knowing
Marc Chagall

crunch time

LuLu and her very own pile of leaves
crunching, crinkling autumn leaves
spiraling, swirling in the breeze
Julie Perkins Cantrell

twofer

there are gonna be two Friday Night Sew-Ins this month

the first one is next friday
december 10, 2010
and the crowd goes wild cuz that is
my baby girl's 24th birthday

and the second one is the next friday
december 17, 2010
and the crowd goes wild again cuz that is
the one week anniversary of my baby girl's 24th birthday

mmm hmmm...
december is all about Auntia

guest blogger III

a go knee off the feet

these are Michael Myson's Bronco crocs
he wears them every time the Broncos play a game of NFL football
they are his lucky Bronco shoes
he wears lucky Bronco underwear, too

maybe Michael Myson oughtta try the left shoe on his right foot and the right shoe on his left foot ... or maybe his lucky underwear isn't so lucky and he needs some new underoos ... cuz

the Broncos are 3-8

we know all about the agony of defeat

nope ... not yet

thank you for the quilty love for neat ... sweet ... petite ...... i gotta say that Blogland liked it a lot more than i did ... i was more than ready for it to go live in someone else's world

still can't bring myself to put pen to paper or, rather, fingers to keyboard and write about the drama and trauma shudder

Kim asked, so i'm gonna show how HPV not the virus is coming along...Hester's U-Pick

is stitched ... and...Spooky Lou's Quality Pre-Owned Brooms
is stitched ... and of course there can't be a used-broom lot without a service department...bristle lube while you wait ... yeah, i've heard that one before
i dunno where the first picture that i took of the service shop went it's probably in digital hell ... so i took it again in incandescent light which isn't very green of me but CFLs make my stomach heave and it looks kinda orange but it isn't in real life ... anywho ... that's ten buildings stitched ... and two more to go ... sigh

neat ... sweet ... petite

it didn't get finished in time for halloween ... but the Ghastlies did make it off the quilting frame in time for thanksgiving...really awful photo - yes, those are my good shoes...another one - even worse

... the backing is black flannel even though it looks grey in the picture and i soon found out that black flannel is a major lint trap and the roses are quilted with bright pink thread...neat ... sweet ... petite
...and this little quilt (40-something by 60-something) has gone to live with my sister ... Auntia has loaded the frame with our first BOM sampler ... she promised one of her brothers a quilt from the BOM blocks last christmas and was determined to finish in time for this christmas ... but then she bonked her head on the one exposed bolt of the quilting frame and didn't touch it again for a couple of weeks...

there was a bit of drama and trauma over the thanksgiving weekend that involved Thor the Viking MegaQuilter that lives on the quilting frame, his gigantically thick needle, Auntia's thumb, the needle-down button, a bit of thread, and the kitchen floor ... but that is for another post ... when and if i ever see the humor in the situation...

tgifnsi

yesterday was the Friday Night Sew-In ... last month i ran afoul of the underside of the quilting frame and called it an early night ... so this time around i stayed well away from the frame and did some hand embroidery...is anyone else getting sick of looking at these teapots?!?
the teapot's outline was already stitched and my goal was to finish the butterflies ... but they looked like they needed a place to land - so i stitched until it was finished ... i'm supposed to stitch two teapots each month in order to keep up with the PPSS BOM blocks but i was a slacker last month and didn't finish any ... so ... now october's are stitched and even if i don't embroider november's teapots, i won't be behind till december 1 - bwah ha ha and november's are ready to go...
then i sewed a bit on the flying geese for Auntia's christmas present...32 of these little puppies
and they are ready to trim ... it's okay if i post about it since she already knows and has accepted the fact that it will not be a full-grown quilt by december 25 and, in fact, chose the fabric line ... so ... no surprises for you, baby girl!
i have been putting it off for months because i'd kinda had enough of wolves but luckily for Auntia the fabric just happened to be among the stuff stacked up against my bedroom wall that has to be cleared out so my bedroom can morph from a stash closet back into a place to actually sleep so i can make room to paint next spring and hang the new shade that has been in the closet for six years now and whatever else needs to happen...

guess i oughta start another list...

would you like some cheese with that?

a real man is his woman's best friend

he will never stand her up
and he will never let her down

he will reassure her when she feels insecure
and he will comfort her after a bad day

he will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do
and to live without fear or regret

he will enable her to express her deepest emotions
and give in to her deepest desires

he will make sure she always feels as though she is the most beautiful woman in the room

he will enable her to be confident...

sexy...

seductive...

and invincible...

no

wait...

i'm thinking of wine...

that's what wine does...


never mind


tonight is the Friday Night Sew-In ... time to hunker down and stitch

i guess so

it snowed on tuesday

and again yesterday
so i guess i was the major holdup

aw come on - you know it's always all about me

and since you asked here are the particulars about the quilt

the quilt is 103 x 103 inches square and it really is square ... the pillow shams are 28 x 28 inches square or, rather, they started out square but the cording around the edges made them a little rounded ... there are 20 small blocks in the quilt that are 9 x 9 inches without the black borders ... the flying geese which started out being birds but decided to be mountains are 1-1/2 x 3-1/2 inches and there are a gazillion of them ... each of the small blocks are quilted with a columbine in the middle ... and there is a columbine in the center of each of the set-in squares of the morning star i wanted Julie Kramer Cole type animals ... each of the mountains has a quilted aspen leaf ... and the morning star which i had envisioned quilted with a circle of life mandala has flaming rays bursting out from the center

sixteen of the small blocks are from the 200ummm5 i think Rocky Mountain Quilt Fever Shop Hop ... we'd never shop hopped before and it took us all of the three days to make it to fourteen shops - ranging from Boulder to Layfayette to Westminster to Broomfield to Wheatridge to Centennial to Parker to Colorado Springs to Evergreen to Littleton to Englewood to Denver but not in that particular order and we covered over three hundred miles ... now three of those shops have combined into one - and all but six of the others have gone out of business not because we haven't done our part to stimulate the economy ... anywho ... the theme was Women of Colorado ... each of the shops selected a famous or infamous woman with roots in Colorado and designed a block to represent that woman's life ... fourteen shops ... fourteen women ... fourteen blocks ... and each with a story ... eventually i am going to post about each of the blocks and the women that they represent cuz it means that much to me ... fair warning ... but not this time

Auntia used 12 of her Women of Colorado blocks to make this wall hanging...which is now quilted and bound - but is STILL not hanging on a wall
and she gave me the two that were left after i begged and pleaded ... the other four blocks that i needed to fill out the borders represent the four seasons...winterspringsummerfall
and now ... i'm gonna get started on whatever it is that i think i have to do today...

were you waiting for me?!?

waaaay back in may i posted about the quilt

i said that i wanted it quilted
and bound
and on my bed
before the snow started up again in the fall...

well...

it is fall...

november, even ... usually we have had at least one major snowstorm before and often on halloween ... but not this fall ... halloween was a gorgeous day ... daytime temperatures have been in the 60s and 70s ... there has been frost in the early morning hours, but very little rain ... and no snow ... and i think i know why ... Spirit was waiting for this...i've been through the desert on a quilt with no name
i took the quilt to Kristy, the longarm quilter, and asked her to work her magick on it ... this is what she came up with...no feathers ... we don't need no stinking feathers
and i got really crazy and asked her to quilt the spirit guides that i was working on back in june, too...growl andstomp
and i think they are pretty doggone amazing ... i took the pictures while the sun was shining brightly in the sky this afternoon... curse you, Hercules - i wish you would poop in your own yard!!!
and after i picked them up i noticed a fresh pile of little dog poop nestled in the grass...

so now the quilt and the spirit guides are out of the washing machine and spread out on the drying racks ... and then they are gonna have a tumble in the dryer ... and get all squishy ... and they are gonna be even more awesome ... i might even put them on my bed ... and sleep under the quilt when it finally begins to snow...

okay, Spirit...

i'm ready...

i'm just sayin'

bungle in the jungle

remember those jungle BOMs that i whined about for a year? and i said that they were gonna grow up and be a quilt by september? and then i put them together into a flimsy and didn't post about it again?
yeah ... well ... that was in june
on september 26 i gave the completed quilt to my niece...Mrs. Izziesmom and Bungle in the Jungle (and Princess Itty Bitty)

to celebrate our divorce anniversaries ... she likes it ... and it was worth all the whining ... especially since i didn't have to listen to me ... i might even make another jungle quilt someday ... there are still lottsa animal prints in the stash ... i'm just sayin'

beware!!!

i don't know who created this ... but
isn't it brilliant?!?
don't text and fly - bwah ha ha!!!

have a safe and happy HALLOWEEN!!!

Parthenocissus quinquefolia and Gleditsia triacanthos

it has been cold and frosty the past few days ... and windy ... so most of the leaves have fallen to the ground and then back up again on accounta when it is windy it is really windy ... and when i look out my front door i don't see this anymore...keep , keep bleeding leaves

my across-the-street-neighbor let a virginia creeper grow up his honey locust tree ... the vine turns a brilliant blood red amidst the chartreuse leaves of the tree when autumn comes around...
it looks like the tree is bleeding out ... and that makes the only words that i remember to Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis start playing inside my head ... on auto-repeat

you cut me open and i
keep bleeding
keep, keep bleeding love
i keep bleeding
i keep, keep bleeding love
keep bleeding
keep, keep bleeding love
you cut me open

it has been ... distracting

twisted sister

last night was the Friday Night Sew-In ... let's hear a woo hootie hoo!!!

i actually managed to get the rest of the teapots traced so no more whining about that and ready to embroider ... then i scooped some dinner outta the crockpot and scarfed it down ... and looked around for something else to do that did not involve embroidery ...... a couple of weeks ago i loaded this onto our little quilting frame ... but i ran outta threaded bobbins after the first few inches of quilting any excuse is acceptable ... Auntia loaded more bobbins ... i'd forgotten what the quilting plan was ... so it's been sitting there waiting for me to remember ... which i did ... so i started quilting a few of these...is that supposed to be a rose?!?
and then i decided to get fancy and quilt a few little buds in the middle of some squares ... uhm ... errr ... not the look i was going for ... so i started to unquilt the gazillion stitches from the top side of the frame - but i couldn't quite get all of them - so i crawled under the frame ... and twisted the wrong way ... and that was the end of stitching for me last night cuz my back was growling at me like this...get that thing off my head or i'll ... i'll ... i'll throw my slipper at you!!!
except more loudly...

quack up

three women died together in an accident and went to heaven ... when they arrived at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said

we only have one rule here in heaven - don't step on the ducks!

so they entered heaven and found that there were ducks everywhere ... it was almost impossible to not step on a duck ... they all tried their best to avoid stepping on a duck ... but, alas, one of the women accidentally stepped on one ... along came St. Peter with the ugliest man the woman had ever seen ... he told her

your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend all of eternity chained to this ugly man

it wasn't very long before the second woman stepped on a duck ... St. Peter - who doesn't miss a thing - came along with another very ugly man, chained them together, and told her

your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend all of eternity chained to this ugly man

the third woman did not want to spend eternity chained to an ugly man ... she was very, very careful not to step on a duck ... and then one day St. Peter came up to her with the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on ... he was tall and dark and very, very hunky ... St. Peter chained her to the handsome man and left without a word ... the woman said

i wonder what i did to spend all of eternity chained to you?!?

and the handsome hunk of a man replied

i don't know about you, but i stepped on a duck

which under where

and so ... speaking of Kim ... she goes to thrift stores and comes home with treasure after treasure after treasure ... remember the motion-activated witch that cackles and flashes her red eyes when someone walks by? Kim took the old hag home and cleaned her up, dressed her in a red velvet dress and then asked for suggestions on an appropriate name ... something kind of original and/or catchy ... and i thought

well, that leaves me out - i got nothin'

and went on with the day ... but i kept thinking about Kim's witch ... and thinking ... and thinking ... all of the regular old witch names kept running through my head - but nothing original and/or catchy

for weeks before the baby shower i was continually making mad dashes to JoAnns/Party City/Bed, Bath & Beyond ... and i was thinking about Kim's witch as i was walking through the parking lot at JoAnns for the umpteenth time ... i was so distracted trying to come up with a name for the poor witchy woman that i almost walked smack into a parked car ... sheesh ... something original and/or catchy for a witchy woman dressed in red with red eyes who cackles ... red ... rose ... cackle ... cackling ... rose ... CACKLING ROSIE ... YES!!! not so original, but kinda catchy ... and i told myself

go directly home ... do not pass go ... do not collect $200 ... go home and comment before someone else gets inspired and beats you to the punch

cuz i'm kinda competitive that way ... but i hadn't even made it into the store and i didn't have the stuff that i needed for the shower

Auntia ... Auntia can make the comment for me!!!

so i took Auntia's cell phone that she insists that i take with me whenever i go somewhere without her outta my pocket ... and then i couldn't figure out how to call Auntia ... i couldn't remember how to dial out and forget using the address book thingamabob ... i walked into a concrete pillar while i was growling at the phone ouch and told myself

finish the stupid shopping and go home

... and then i left without getting everything i went in there for because i was just SURE that someone else would beat me to the comment...

well ... no one did ... beat me to the comment, that is ... and Kim liked the name Cackling Rosie ... and she sent me a package in the mail...attorneys at law? holy crap ... what have i done now?!? Sacramento?!? oh yeah ... that's right ... Kim works with attorneys ... whew!
with all of this...goodies galore!!! and a postcard from Minnesota (cuz neither one of us is there)!!!
i turned over the ribbon-tied package on the right and found...hey ghoul friend! the pattern! in the flesh ... or, rather, in the paper, as it were
the pattern for Hey Ghoul Friend! oh ... my ... good ... gosh!!! i just sat and stared at it in wonder ... and then i realized that i could smell chocolate...
oooo!!!
and inside the ribbon-tied package were all of these wonderful wonders!!! not just any chocolate ... thick bars of emergency chocolate and chocolate broomstick fuel! and ... and loooook! how incredibly cool is that?!?
the witch's underwear fabric that i have searched for on the Internet and at every fabric store in a fifty mile radius for months and months! in my very own pile of goodies!lottsa trims ... and even some buttons!
and i took the trims outta the bag and held them for a while, too ... so many of my favorite things all in one package ... how did she know?!?

faa

i started to read blog posts this morning and stopped when i read Kim's ... she is so creative and organized and quiltically prolific ... she can take just one little hour long nap ... we all know that if i take a nap it isn't gonna be for just an hour - i might wake up sometime the next day ... and then tidy ... and sew ... and tidy some more ... all evening ... and take the time to blog about it before she turns in for the night ... i was especially intrigued by the two hour break that she took in the middle of tidying to put together an entire quilt top...

maybe ... just MAYBE ... if i took a two hour break from cleaning the magick shoppe and SEWED i wouldn't have so many surprises the NEXT time i decided to tidy up ... i found the stack of apron fabric (again) yesterday...future aprons of america
and i said to myself

self - these here aprons ain't never gonna get did if'n you don't stop doin' other stuff and git 'em done

and then ... and then i went outside to mow the lawn ... but first i had to rake rotten apples ... and cut back the tree that decided to grow toward the magick shoppe's window ... and prune back some of the barberries that were growing toward the sidewalk ... and pull some very tall weeds that were taking over the wall ... and water the garden and planters that Auntia planted last spring and both of us have lost interest in ... and then put all of the tools away ... and sweep the drive ... and hose down the door mat ...... i dunno ... maybe i don't really want to make those aprons ... maybe the fabrics will get lost in the shoppe again ... and the next time i find them i will heed the voice inside my head ...... or maybe not ...... and maybe ... just MAYBE if the voice didn't sound like Jed Clampett i would be more inclined to listen to it

bless her heart

i did not write this poem
and i do not know who did write it
so if it was you
thank you for summing up what i should have done loooong ago...


he did not like the casserole
and he did not like the cake
he said the biscuits were too hard
not like his mother used to make

i did not perk the coffee right
he did not like the stew
i did not mend his socks
the way his mother used to do

i pondered for an answer
i was looking for a clue...
then i turned around and smacked him
like his mother used to do

the same ... but different

i wanted this pattern from Crab-apple Hill in the worst way ... so Auntia gave it to me for christmas last year...Over the River and Through the Woods

and i was ever so grateful ... and then i looked at it again and decided that i didn't like the colors which, i am sure, surprises everyone cuz they are neutral shudder and dark double shudder ... so i decided that when i started stitching - it was gonna be brighter and lighter ... and i wanted it to be more autumnal ... and i didn't like the words cuz my grandmother lived in california and it was over the mountains and through the desert ... and i didn't want the sleigh cuz i've never even ridden in a sleigh so why would i want to stitch one ... and 51 x 57 isn't big enough...
so ... brighter autumn colors ... with a different layout ... and not exactly the same stitchery ... and bigger
sigh
i wrote down the fabric requirements and kept the yellow sticky with me till i forgot to take it outta my pocket and washed it with my jeans for months...

when i saw Saltbox Harvest i knew i had found exactly the right fabric to autumn up the quilt ... and when we went shop hopping i looked for a charm pack of Saltbox Harvest so i could do some more planning ... Auntia found the perfect fabric for the embroidery and i took the bolt over to the charm packs and placed those lovely Saltbox Harvest prints on my chosen background ... and i thought

bleck - i don't like it. i don't like it at all. maybe i need a different background? wait ... what is this? Awesome! seriously? isn't this the one with the panel that has a squirrel shudder? i hate squirrels. it can't be the one with the squirrel. oooo! i really like these fabrics! seriously, i really do love these fabrics! this can't be the line that has the squirrel cuz these fabrics are .... well ... Awesome!

Awesome by Sandy Gervais
and so i bought the charm pack ... and i bought enough of the background fabric for the embroidery ... and i took it home and put them with the pattern...doesn't that background look like it was made to go with the charm pack?!?
oh ... wait ... it was made to go with the charm pack!
and then i went to the lqs that is closing its doors forever and found some yardage that was marked down a bit...
oooo! it's even prettier when it's in big pieces!
and i really, really liked it ... but ... why are there stars in the middle of the quilt instead of around the edge? and there are still those troublesome words ... what if i take out the middle embroidery ... and move the other two stitcheries to where the stars are ... and piece leaves for where the stitcheries used to be...ooo! batiks! i knew i would find a reason to buy batiks!
and keep the flying geese ... but make an outer border of stars for the top and bottom ... and i still want to replace the sleigh with a ... uhm ... five window wrap around pickup truck ... Auntia is collecting the supplies for this Crab-apple Hill design and it has a pickup truck that i could use ... and i'm gonna need more fabric...fat quarter bundle - score!!!
so i splurged and bought the fat quarter bundle ... this is the second fat quarter bundle that i've allowed myself to buy and it is ... well ... Awesome!
expensive, but Awesome!
a luxury, but Awesome!
frivolous, but Awesome!
and now i have everything i need to start ... except embroidery thread
and time