eating my feelings

Melissa's yellow and green summer squash sauteed in butter with the very first Roma tomato and onions,  hash brown and (a splurge!) scrambled eggs ... think it will lift my moaning myrtle mood?

147 half years

gonna spend my day eating chinese food and reading and sipping tea and watching The Meg and stitching and scarfing down half-birthday cake 

 WON'T YOU BE MY CHUM?!?

fabulous peach cobbler

i double the topping recipe cuz that's my favorite part ... buttermilk is hard to find around here, but milk will work ... dried eggs can be substituted for fresh eggs, just add the extra water ... and twice as much vanilla  

 so, so SO good!!! 

raspberries and rice chex

$4.96

 a white fluff filled chocolate bar 

it was tasty 

but it wasn't four dollars and ninety six cents tasty 

sigh...

no nuts need apply

cream cheese ...butter ... flour ... dried fruits ... powdered sugar

gruel

the best recipes are the ones with stains all over them...

dianne's mom's ugly oatmeal cookies ... SO good!!!

 i don't remember which one of my kids copied this out for me a gazillion years ago ... prolly Melissa ... maybe Angela ... definitely not Michael Myson - i wouldn't be able to decipher it because his writing is tattooish ... and not Mr. S - he presses really hard and there would be pen holes in the paper ... i think it needs to be copied again on a fresh sheet of paper, cuz that's looking kinda shabby

whoooo are YOU looking at?!?

anywho, this is MY preferred way of eating gruel ... mmhmmm, cookies - breakfast of champions!!!

berried treasure

i said, she said

Melissa hasn't posted in a month of sundays, so when she told me that she was gonna post about our strawberry jam challenge, i just KNEW that she was gonna tell HER side and so i would have to tell MY side...

King Soopers had a sale on strawberries - $.99 per pound

woo hootie hoo!!!

so i left Melissa to pick out some berries whilst i chose a couple of lemons and limes...

when i met up with her, she had four big packs of juicy red goodness 

and i was totally okay with that many strawberries...

till we got back home and i realized that we were gonna hafta do something with them soon, or they would make both of us crazy with watery eyes and itchy noses...

so we decided to make strawberry jam - but i didn't want to use pectin, and she did... 

i cleaned the berries, quartered them, carried the hulls out to the backyard and tossed them for compost, 

and told Thumps* to enjoy himself with the scraps, but to get the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta the garden, and take his girlfriend with him... 

then i divided the berries into two bowls - half for me and half for Melissa - and started my jam...

which took for freakin' ever!!!

the stupid jam never did get to 220° - it topped out at 207° and refused to get any hotter - grrr!!!

in the meantime, Melissa took a shower and fluffed her hair and put on her makeup and got dressed and put on an apron

 and waited

 and waited

 and waited for me to vacate the stove...

when i finally gave up on the concoction EVER getting hot enough, i ladled the jam syrup into four pint-sized jars

floating fruit and lottsa foam

and started cleaning up my mess...

and before i had the red splatters wiped away, 

Melissa was ladling HER jam into jars - pointing out that HER jam was already getting thick 

and was a lovely color of red

no floating fruit, no foam, no fair

and tasted oh so DELICIOUS

it does, i'm not arguing that fact

and, look!!! there's no FOAM ... and the fruit isn't floating to the top!!!

 she ended up with three pint-sized jars of gorgeous, sweet, thick strawberry jam...

and i would be ever so jealous 

if i didn't know that my strawberry syrup will taste really, really good on ice cream and angel food cake and pancakes...

*i was not opposed to Thumps the Rabbit munching away - as long as he stayed away from the garden and the strawberry plants...

well...

last year i noticed that the strawberry plants had pretty much disappeared from the backyard, so i ordered $100 worth of Stark Brothers strawberries, and Melissa helped me plant them...

we planted twice as many as i thought we'd really need - half for us and half for the Wild Things...

the new plants were thriving...

till they weren't...

gone...

disappeared...

and not just the berries - entire plants disappeared

no berries, no leaves, no roots...

it was a mystery till i spotted Thumps munching strawberry leaves 
and chased his little cottontail outta the yard...

so, yeah, i may have given Thumps mixed signals when i took the strawberry hulls out for compost - i don't care if he eats them all and poops out strawberry seeds ... but he really needs to stay outta the garden...

i'm just sayin'...

If you ever find yourself in a jam, just take a moment to sit and think; calculate things, look at every angle, and then wonder where all that jam came from.

Melanie Kay Taylor

cinnamon sinner

 Melissa made her World Famous Puffin Muffins for me for Mothers Day...

sooooo goooood!!!

she said this was the only batch she was gonna make till next year 

and that i didn't have to share if i didn't want to...

sigh...

guilt set in after i ate the first row

so...

this is me, sharing!!!

bwah ha ha ha ha!!!

i love you to the moon and back again times infinity,

but i'm not sharing those muffins.

dianne

hand me down

it was Cyber Monday...
there was a cyber sale at a cyber site
 on air fryers... 
and i bought one... 
a glossy black air fryer that sat on one of the kitchen counters and collected dust when it wasn't frying french fries or egg rolls... 
so i decided that it needed a cover... 
i found the box labeled "kitchen appliance covers" in the Great Pile of Stuff
looked over the patterns and decided the one that might fit it was the same pattern that i'd used for the Monster in the Kitchen...

just to be sure, i slipped the Monster's cover off...
 slid it over the top of the air fryer...
and it fit! 

woo hoo! 

so i tugged the cover back over the Monster...
and grumbled about it being a bit too tight and a lot too short...
and had a light bulb moment...

if i was gonna make a new cover, why not make it for the Monster?!? 

and make it FIT this time?!?

so i did...

i made a little mat with a tab on it so i can slide the Monster out from the corner without it screeching like a banshee... 

and made the pockets a little taller so they don't sag with the weight of the paddle and the dough hook...

the air fryer is wearing the Monster's hand me down cover...

and the little mat was such an improvement that i used up all the rest of the quilted fabric making little slider mats for the blender

 and the air fryer

 and the food processor...

and everything was hunky dory... 

till Michael Myson gave me a waffle maker for Christmas... 

a glossy black waffle maker that collects dust when it's not making waffles...

sigh...

anywho...

someone celebrated a birthday this week...

which meant that Melissa baked someone's favorite little muffins...

and since the oven was already hot, someone baked herself a LXVth birthday cake...

and it was SO GOOD!!!

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.

Frank Lloyd Wright

pretty is as pretty does

my mom used to bake the best oatmeal cookies in the Whole Wide World... 

the only thing that was wrong with them was that they were ugly... 

seriously ugly... 

one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...

my friends made fun of them cuz they were so ugly... 

two can be as bad as one ... it's the loneliest number since the number one

but they also loved to eat them and would ask me if there were any of my mom's ugly oatmeal cookies in my lunch bag... 

now THAT'S what i call me a breakfast bowl of oatmeal!!!

and if i was feeling generous i'd share one or two...

my mom's ugly oatmeal cookie recipe is getting kinda ugly, innit?!?

dianne's mom's ugly oatmeal cookies - now YOU can bake some, too, cuz pretty is as pretty does...

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

abby normal

franken-kit-kats ... even less fun to make than the werewolves

i dunno ... they look more like zombies than Frankenstein's monster

recipe and how-to video are here

note to self - stay away from this website next halloween

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain i DID put in?

Igor: Then you won't be angry?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.

Igor:  Abby someone.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?

Igor: Abby ... Normal.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal?

Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?

Young Frankenstein

beastie boys

note to self - Wilton's black sparkle gel doesn't ever dry ... it's gonna smear no matter how long you wait 

they look more like chocolate pigs than werewolves, but adding fangs would have been too scary for the younglings and their nonna...

the recipe and how-to video are here 

note to self - she makes it look a lot easier than it is In Real Life

as for being a werewolf, Jacob Black had this to say:

It's not a life-style choice, Bella. I was born this way, I can't help it.

Jacob Black in New Moon

orange crush

here's hoping that the on-line translator didn't lie and i'm not writing bad words in languages other than dianneish...

oranje

arancio

naranja

arancione

πορτοκάλι

machungwa

apelsin

オレンジ

d'orange

оранжевый

laranja

zoranj

תפוז

Pomarańczowy

orange

i do lurve me some orange...

 orange dream cookies ... adapted from this recipe for lemon cookies ... heaven on a plate, lemmetellya

 the garage door is finally painted ... mark that one off this list from a year ago ... this is how it looked in the early morning sunshine while the paint was still wet... it's a bit more mellow in Real Life ... needless to say, the new color has not been much of a hit with my neighbors ... and, also needless to say, i don't much care cuz i think it's kinda awesome ... and just look at the blue sky!!!

my orange kitty is named Pumpkitten ... finally, a cat that doesn't make my eyes swell shut

 renegade orange marigolds ... not where they are supposed to be
but i'm not gonna complain

 i did not know that cosmos came in orange till i was trying to find flowers that wouldn't clash with the garage door

 what's left of LuLu's tomatoes  ... she LURVES cherry tomatoes

 my new Bronco jammies ... to be worn only on game days

 coffee tastes better in a polka-dotted cup ... especially an ORANGE polka-dotted cup

my Lucy kit from Carrie Nelson at Miss Rosie's Quilt Company ... which i was lucky enough to score before they were all gone ... i was planning on swapping out the greys and blacks with blues so i could make a Bronco quilt, but the fabrics are just too doggone awesome ... and who am i to mess with a quilting genius's fabric choices?!?

Orange is the happiest color.
Frank Sinatra

portion control

veggie table

when i read Thimbleanna's comment on firecrackers...

And THAT is why I don't like jalapenos. You never know if you're going to get hot or mild. I prefer to keep my tastebuds in working order. (But those look good with the cream cheese and bacon anyway. I suppose it would be cream cheese overkill to use a green pepper, huh?)

i decided that she has to be the Most Brilliant Person in the World - cream cheese, bacon, and peppers without the heat...

but...

you had to know that was coming

green peppers are BIG... 

it would take an entire package of silver-wrapped bliss 

aka Philadelphia cream cheese 

to stuff just one...

what to do?!?

what to do?!?

what to ... wait!!! 

i remembered seeing tiny bell peppers at the grocery store and wanting to buy them just because they were so doggone cute...

 Auntia told me to wait - she had planted a mini bell pepper plant and we would have tiny peppers in a couple of months... 

mutter mutter mutter

so...

 the next time she sent me on an emergency run to King Soopers to get yet another bag of White Cheddar Cheetos which i swear she goes through faster than green grass through a goose 

i made a detour to the produce aisle and bought a package...

aren't they pretty?!?

neat ... sweet ... petite

shiny!!!

and used my jalapeño corer to clean out the seed pods... 

stuffed them with cream cheese... 

wrapped them with bacon...

 and baked them...

oooo!!! Anna - you would LURVE these!!!

Oh. My. Good. Golly. Gee.

they were really, really, really tasty!!!

who knew that vegetables could taste so doggone good?!?

they were so tasty 

that we decided to make our entire meal vegetarian...

katana corn skewers ... there can be only one

except for the bacon...

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Doug Larson

firecrackers

this is the only kind of fireworks that are legal at our house...

uh huh - i have a special plate just for jalapeño poppers aka firecrackers

Auntia the wuss watched as i ate the first one - it was tasty and not even a little bit spicy...

so she bit into the second one ... i think they heard her gasping for air in the next county ... she finished off the bacon seriously?!? the bacon is why i eat them!!! well - the cream cheese, too - but mostly the bacon!!! and gave the rest of it to me...

i took a bite...

 Oh. My. Good. Golly. Gee. 

it was hot!!! 

my oh my !!!

sheesh!!!

my jalapeño corer must have missed some of the seed pod cuz 

the capsaicin was strong with that one!!!

Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

Larry the Cable Guy

peace of cake

i'm not sure how it happened, but Betty Crocker has my number and has been sending me emails about how to impress friends and family by baking impossible-to-duplicate EASY desserts with just a couple of million ingredients and hours and hours a few minutes in the kitchen...

if you follow this link it will take you to what this cake...

Happy Birthday, America!!!

is SUPPOSED to look like ... 

Betsy Ross is the front and center of our founding foreducks

 minus the peace sign...

yeah ... 

maybe not so much, eh?!? 

it would have been nice to know BEFOREHAND that the frosting was gonna melt and the layers would do the slip and slide...

i'm meeeeeeellllllllttttting!!!!

AND it would have been nice to know that i was gonna have enough leftover layers for another (shorter) cake...

ANOTHER ONE?!?

cuz that would have saved me yet another trip to the grocery store to buy more frosting ... by then i had learned my lesson about boot-scooting layers, and channeling my inner Martha anchored them with straws...

 short and stout ... and messy

yeah... 

anywho...

it took me three days of baking during the cooler hours between midnight and 1am - ha ha ha to assemble all the different layers... 

my kitchen counters looked like this...

 will someone please tell Smurfette to get her boobs off the counter?!?

but all over ... baking racks and messy pans everydamnedwhere...

anywho ... 

did you notice the waaaaay cool Mt. Rushmore quilt in the background?!?

are those Presidents stoned?!?

it was a display model from The Quilt Store that had a price tag of $65!!! 

can you believe that?!? just the fabric would have cost that much!!!

now i have a finished Fourth of July quilt with three of my favorite Presidents of the United States of America!!! and i didn't have to make it!!!

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

George Washington

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Thomas Jefferson

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

Theodore Roosevelt

easter eats

Auntia expects creamed eggs on toast every easter sunday ... she even went outside to the garden leftovers and brought in some chives that were stretching toward the sun...

isn't that the cutest easter plate EVER?!?

i can count on one hand the number of eggs that i have intentionally eaten since last september and THAT was one of them ... i miss eating eggs!!!

“Tis hatched and shall be so” 

William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew