Saturday, September 12, 2009

eve was framed

EVE: i’ve got a problem.

GOD: what’s the problem, Eve?

EVE: i know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake ... but i’m just not happy.

GOD: and why is that?

EVE: i am lonely ... and i’m sick to death of apples.

GOD: well, Eve ... I have a solution ... I shall create a man for you.

EVE: man? what is that?

GOD: a flawed creature with many bad traits ... he’ll lie, cheat, and be vain ... he'll give you a hard time ... but he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things ... I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs ... he will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about ... he won’t be as smart as you, so he will need your advice on everything ... and he will have limited emotional capacity, so you will have to help him with that, too ... I can promise that you will not be bored!

EVE: sounds great ... what’s the catch?

GOD: well... you can have him on one condition.

EVE: and that condition is?

GOD: as I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring ... so you’ll have to let him believe that I made him first ... and it will have to be our little secret ... you know, woman to woman.

this post was brought to you by one of my female email buddies

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