note to self

years and years ago my sister bought three identical Sugar Britches baby dolls - one for each of us - dressed in little pink dresses and sporting the Sugar Britches pin ... i packed mine away after i was stabbed by the pin ... Little Nonnie wanted her Sugar Britches baby doll to have a bed to sleep in, so she bought a square basket with a muslin liner and was always planning to crochet a doll-sized blanket, but she never got around to it ... since she doesn't crochet anymore, i decided to put some of those leftover pink and brown blocks together and make a little doll quilt for her...it really isn't wonky - i am always in a hurry when i take pictures ... i swear those pink and brown blocks are multiplying - i think that they are just about gone - and then more of them show up

and take it to her yesterday for christmas ... i didn't put a whole lot of effort into it because Little Nonnie thinks that quilting is a huge waste of resources and can't understand what the big deal is and asks how i can mess up squares and rectangles ... so when she opened the package and said you finally got the hint! ... i thought i had hit the mother lode of quilty gifts for her ... but when she unfolded the little quilt and saw what it was, the expression on her face changed from finally - a gift that i want to oh - swell - how am i gonna re-gift this piece of whatever this is supposed to be? it seems that what she wanted was another tote for her walker ... what she did not want was a doll quilt for a doll that now resides in her dresser drawer (who knew?) ... or a year's supply of PreserVision (registered trademark) because maybe she wants to try a different brand (who knew?) ... or six each of 7 different kinds of cookies - half of which were chocolate in one form or another which she doesn't eat any more because chocolate makes her choke (again, who knew?) ...... and i remember that this woman used to love christmas ... she stayed up in a freezing cold house till the early hours of the morning, sewing pajamas and doll clothes so she'd have something to put under the tree for her family ... she started her christmas baking the day after thanksgiving and didn't stop till christmas eve ... she hosted a christmas breakfast for all of her children, their spouses and her grandchildren every christmas morning till she moved out of our childhood home ... she showed up on our doorstep one christmas with a reindeer antler headband and a flashing red ball on her nose and gifts for everyone in her arms ...... and i think that i will change my memory of yesterday to be not so ... linear.

a song isn't its final note. it's all its notes at once
Jef Mallett