knock knock

who's there?

olive!

olive who?!?

can't you see i'm no good without you?

olive me ... why not take olive me?

the hole truth

i washed red, white & blue - and tigger, too ...... and look what happened...holey guacamole!!!

sheesh ... and i thought i was well rid of this monstrosity

grumble grumble grumble

to tell the truth

i am proud to be an American ... i've never been a flag waver - but i have accepted my responsibilities and performed my duties - some more willingly than others -as Joetta Citizen...

anywho ... on monday night i placed the final few stitches on this quilt for Auntia...
red, white & blue - and tigger, too ... Auntia's picnic quilt finally has the binding on it - woo hoo!!!
during the commercial breaks of Lie to Me ... this is a Bonnie Hunter mystery quilt that i started a looooong time ago ... it is for Auntia's fireworks-watching on the Fourth of July ... it was supposed to be done for this year (okay ... okay ... OKAY ... since i'm telling the truth - it was really supposed to be finished for last year's fireworks display) but i fiddle-farted around and didn't finish it in time ... i quilted fireworks on each of the star blocks and then i did some stitch-in-the-ditching ... i should have spent a bit more time with it (i will not be showing the back of it cuz there are lottsa puckers and wrinkles) - but i was weary of having it stare at me for the past two years ... not one of my better efforts ... but it is finished ... and i will be happy to see it leave my room and take up residence in hers...

i swear

this is where i spent my morning hours last thursday...our county tax dollars at work

because i received this in the mail...
gut wrenching mail
which is never a good thing ... and guess which number i was?!?doesn't look like you're gonna get outta this one

the three cases that were scheduled to go before the judge and jury were settled by 9:13am ... and then all fifty-three of us were thanked for showing up to do our civic duty as if we had a choice and dismissed...

"When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty"
Norm Crosby

peach offering

i was feeling kinda guilty after my bad behavior at the beginning of the shop hop ... so i got up early the next morning before the heat started in for the day and made a peach offering...ooooo!!!

peach cobbler is one of Auntia's favorite foods ... she always ordered peach cobbler for dessert at the Black-eyed Pea - she says they make the best peach cobbler in the world ... she loves their cheese broccoli soup, too ... anywho ... we haven't been out to eat much since the Great Economic Downturn which happened for us about ten years before it affected the rest of the world and Auntia really missed eating cheese broccoli soup and peach cobbler ... so four or five years ago i decided to experiment and make it myself ... i tried every recipe i could find for peach cobbler and failed every time ... either it was too pie crusty or too bubbly or too crispy or too whatever ... and then i found this recipe...oh. my. gawd.
she really, really likes it ... it isn't quite the same as Black Eyed Pea's peach cobbler ... but she can eat and eat and eat till she can't eat any more without either of us having to take out a loan for dinner ...peachy goodness
anywho ... i think i have been forgiven ... i used the last of the peaches that were in the freezer from two years ago when the peach tree looked like this...i couldn't mow under those branches for six weeks
and we had lots and lots of peaches ... there are a lotta peaches on the tree again this year ... we've been trying to keep the squirrels those little rats with bushy tails outta the tree till they're ripe enough to pick ... i'm hoping to freeze some peaches - not squirrels for the next time i need to make a peach offering...

and there will be a next time...

jaws

have you ever wondered why sharks circle their prey before attacking?

two great white sharks were swimming in the ocean ... they spied the survivors of a sinking ship

the father shark said

follow me, son ... and do exactly as i tell you!!!

they swam toward the mass of people

first we'll swim around them a few times with just the tips of our dorsal fins showing...

and they did

well done, son!!! now we'll swim around them a few times with all of our dorsal fins showing...

and they did

now ... we eat every body!!!

and they did ... after they had gorged, the son shark asked

dad ... why did we swim around and around them? why didn't we just eat them all up when we first saw them?

the very wise father shark answered

because they taste better without the poop inside...
would you be my chum?

bound up

last night i sewed down the binding on this...

no more getting seasick from looking at those wavy stripes
so i could give it to Princess Itty Bitty of the TuTu...ooo! a pillowcase, too!!!
for her third birthday ... now that Itty Bitty has a quilt that she actually gets to use since her mom won't let her touch this one she can stop borrowing her nonna's quilt...what's that tiger looking at?!?
the naming block is sewn on like a pocket so Itty Bitty can keep a book in it ... by the time i finished sewing my way around the edges, my Friday Night Sew-In had fast-forwarded into saturday morning ... one PhD down and only a gazillion more to go!