beware!!!

i don't know who created this ... but
isn't it brilliant?!?
don't text and fly - bwah ha ha!!!

have a safe and happy HALLOWEEN!!!

Parthenocissus quinquefolia and Gleditsia triacanthos

it has been cold and frosty the past few days ... and windy ... so most of the leaves have fallen to the ground and then back up again on accounta when it is windy it is really windy ... and when i look out my front door i don't see this anymore...keep , keep bleeding leaves

my across-the-street-neighbor let a virginia creeper grow up his honey locust tree ... the vine turns a brilliant blood red amidst the chartreuse leaves of the tree when autumn comes around...
it looks like the tree is bleeding out ... and that makes the only words that i remember to Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis start playing inside my head ... on auto-repeat

you cut me open and i
keep bleeding
keep, keep bleeding love
i keep bleeding
i keep, keep bleeding love
keep bleeding
keep, keep bleeding love
you cut me open

it has been ... distracting

twisted sister

last night was the Friday Night Sew-In ... let's hear a woo hootie hoo!!!

i actually managed to get the rest of the teapots traced so no more whining about that and ready to embroider ... then i scooped some dinner outta the crockpot and scarfed it down ... and looked around for something else to do that did not involve embroidery ...... a couple of weeks ago i loaded this onto our little quilting frame ... but i ran outta threaded bobbins after the first few inches of quilting any excuse is acceptable ... Auntia loaded more bobbins ... i'd forgotten what the quilting plan was ... so it's been sitting there waiting for me to remember ... which i did ... so i started quilting a few of these...is that supposed to be a rose?!?
and then i decided to get fancy and quilt a few little buds in the middle of some squares ... uhm ... errr ... not the look i was going for ... so i started to unquilt the gazillion stitches from the top side of the frame - but i couldn't quite get all of them - so i crawled under the frame ... and twisted the wrong way ... and that was the end of stitching for me last night cuz my back was growling at me like this...get that thing off my head or i'll ... i'll ... i'll throw my slipper at you!!!
except more loudly...

quack up

three women died together in an accident and went to heaven ... when they arrived at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said

we only have one rule here in heaven - don't step on the ducks!

so they entered heaven and found that there were ducks everywhere ... it was almost impossible to not step on a duck ... they all tried their best to avoid stepping on a duck ... but, alas, one of the women accidentally stepped on one ... along came St. Peter with the ugliest man the woman had ever seen ... he told her

your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend all of eternity chained to this ugly man

it wasn't very long before the second woman stepped on a duck ... St. Peter - who doesn't miss a thing - came along with another very ugly man, chained them together, and told her

your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend all of eternity chained to this ugly man

the third woman did not want to spend eternity chained to an ugly man ... she was very, very careful not to step on a duck ... and then one day St. Peter came up to her with the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on ... he was tall and dark and very, very hunky ... St. Peter chained her to the handsome man and left without a word ... the woman said

i wonder what i did to spend all of eternity chained to you?!?

and the handsome hunk of a man replied

i don't know about you, but i stepped on a duck

which under where

and so ... speaking of Kim ... she goes to thrift stores and comes home with treasure after treasure after treasure ... remember the motion-activated witch that cackles and flashes her red eyes when someone walks by? Kim took the old hag home and cleaned her up, dressed her in a red velvet dress and then asked for suggestions on an appropriate name ... something kind of original and/or catchy ... and i thought

well, that leaves me out - i got nothin'

and went on with the day ... but i kept thinking about Kim's witch ... and thinking ... and thinking ... all of the regular old witch names kept running through my head - but nothing original and/or catchy

for weeks before the baby shower i was continually making mad dashes to JoAnns/Party City/Bed, Bath & Beyond ... and i was thinking about Kim's witch as i was walking through the parking lot at JoAnns for the umpteenth time ... i was so distracted trying to come up with a name for the poor witchy woman that i almost walked smack into a parked car ... sheesh ... something original and/or catchy for a witchy woman dressed in red with red eyes who cackles ... red ... rose ... cackle ... cackling ... rose ... CACKLING ROSIE ... YES!!! not so original, but kinda catchy ... and i told myself

go directly home ... do not pass go ... do not collect $200 ... go home and comment before someone else gets inspired and beats you to the punch

cuz i'm kinda competitive that way ... but i hadn't even made it into the store and i didn't have the stuff that i needed for the shower

Auntia ... Auntia can make the comment for me!!!

so i took Auntia's cell phone that she insists that i take with me whenever i go somewhere without her outta my pocket ... and then i couldn't figure out how to call Auntia ... i couldn't remember how to dial out and forget using the address book thingamabob ... i walked into a concrete pillar while i was growling at the phone ouch and told myself

finish the stupid shopping and go home

... and then i left without getting everything i went in there for because i was just SURE that someone else would beat me to the comment...

well ... no one did ... beat me to the comment, that is ... and Kim liked the name Cackling Rosie ... and she sent me a package in the mail...attorneys at law? holy crap ... what have i done now?!? Sacramento?!? oh yeah ... that's right ... Kim works with attorneys ... whew!
with all of this...goodies galore!!! and a postcard from Minnesota (cuz neither one of us is there)!!!
i turned over the ribbon-tied package on the right and found...hey ghoul friend! the pattern! in the flesh ... or, rather, in the paper, as it were
the pattern for Hey Ghoul Friend! oh ... my ... good ... gosh!!! i just sat and stared at it in wonder ... and then i realized that i could smell chocolate...
oooo!!!
and inside the ribbon-tied package were all of these wonderful wonders!!! not just any chocolate ... thick bars of emergency chocolate and chocolate broomstick fuel! and ... and loooook! how incredibly cool is that?!?
the witch's underwear fabric that i have searched for on the Internet and at every fabric store in a fifty mile radius for months and months! in my very own pile of goodies!lottsa trims ... and even some buttons!
and i took the trims outta the bag and held them for a while, too ... so many of my favorite things all in one package ... how did she know?!?

faa

i started to read blog posts this morning and stopped when i read Kim's ... she is so creative and organized and quiltically prolific ... she can take just one little hour long nap ... we all know that if i take a nap it isn't gonna be for just an hour - i might wake up sometime the next day ... and then tidy ... and sew ... and tidy some more ... all evening ... and take the time to blog about it before she turns in for the night ... i was especially intrigued by the two hour break that she took in the middle of tidying to put together an entire quilt top...

maybe ... just MAYBE ... if i took a two hour break from cleaning the magick shoppe and SEWED i wouldn't have so many surprises the NEXT time i decided to tidy up ... i found the stack of apron fabric (again) yesterday...future aprons of america
and i said to myself

self - these here aprons ain't never gonna get did if'n you don't stop doin' other stuff and git 'em done

and then ... and then i went outside to mow the lawn ... but first i had to rake rotten apples ... and cut back the tree that decided to grow toward the magick shoppe's window ... and prune back some of the barberries that were growing toward the sidewalk ... and pull some very tall weeds that were taking over the wall ... and water the garden and planters that Auntia planted last spring and both of us have lost interest in ... and then put all of the tools away ... and sweep the drive ... and hose down the door mat ...... i dunno ... maybe i don't really want to make those aprons ... maybe the fabrics will get lost in the shoppe again ... and the next time i find them i will heed the voice inside my head ...... or maybe not ...... and maybe ... just MAYBE if the voice didn't sound like Jed Clampett i would be more inclined to listen to it