Tuesday, March 9, 2010

busted

sometimes i make Auntia crazy ... i don't usually intend to make her crazy - it just happens ... i obsessed over the real name for Mr. Husker's Homestead for days and days and days ... it made her crazy ... she came up with ideas and made suggestions and listened to me go on and on about naming her uncle's quilt ... ad nauseum ... i finally threw up my hands and told her that it would just have to wait till i found the right name and we wouldn't be able to take it to him the next day and that was all there was to it blah blah blah ... and she made her escape ... but i didn't stop there ... oh no no no ... i sat down and googled song titles and lyrics for two hours ... and then i baked cookies and did the dishes and called Little Nonnie to tell her that we would be stopping by the next morning ... and that was when i had an epiphany about the name ... i decided during rasslin' and wrote the name and made the quilt cover and hung it all up to take pictures and didn't like my pictures so i had Auntia take pictures and i loaded them onto the computer and decided that maybe i should wait till saturday morning's sunlight was streaming through the window and i was wound up from the wind down and then i didn't want to go to bed even though i knew we had to get up early for our BOM sampler meeting ... and on and on and on

saturday morning came and i dragged my sorry self out of bed and waited for Auntia to make a pot of coffee ... while she got ready for our paper-pieced BOM meeting i fiddle-farted around taking more pictures of the quilt none of which were usable and drank more coffee than i'm supposed to and ate a couple of cookies ... it was when i realized that i had less than an hour to be ready to walk out the door that i finally started to move ... it doesn't really take me very long to get ready to go anywhere ... i try to look presentable by being clean ... and leaving the hot rollers in my hair long enough for them to cool down ... and not having too many holes in or stains on my jeans and sweatshirts/t shirts ... and on very rare occasions putting a bit of mascara on my very skimpy eyelashes ... so i did all of that and came down stairs to see my very lovely daughter in another of her cute outfits - black leggings and a red top with a black sweater ... her hair was shiny and bouncy and her makeup was perfect ... she had taken our BOM notebooks out to the car and helped me take down the quilt and fold it up and made sure the Schlotsky's coupons were ready ... she put on her fashionable white suede and faux fur boots with four inch heels ... and i said

we're gonna be walkin' a lot
i know ... are you ready to go?
those are gonna make your feet hurt
they're very comfortable ... you know we're supposed to be walking out the door right now
did you eat anything?
no - i'm not hungry ... we're late ... we need to leave
i'm almost ready
sigh ... i'll meet you in the car

and then she left me to my own devices ... which meant that i stopped to pack a few cookies and pour a big cuppa coffee and checked to make sure i had the camera and tied my shoes and then took them off so i could find my purse and put my shoes back on and made sure i had the stuff for my sister and packed a few cookies for Nicci ... and then Auntia was back inside asking me

what is taking you so long? do you need any help?
you could grab those cookies and help me with this box
we are sooooo late

so i finally got my sorry self out to the car and we started the 40 minute drive to longmont with me knowing full well that if we didn't get there in 30 minutes that we wouldn't get to sit together and then who would loan me a piece of paper and a pencil since i'd forgotten mine again ... so i sped up a little bit and knocked a couple of minutes off the drive without Auntia being any the wiser and munched a couple of cookies ... i offered to share the cookies with Auntia but she still wasn't hungry ... we reached our destination safely and found seats in the back row ... she loaned me a pencil and a piece of paper and i started to behave ... i took copious notes and i didn't mumble very much and i asked intelligent questions and didn't shush the two chatty cathies sitting next to us even though i thought they shoulda shut up so the rest of us could hear and even Thelma would have been proud of my exceptionally good behavior ... when the meeting was over we walked through the shop and tried to find the Maywood white on white loopy daisy floral that is being used in the blue paper-pieced quilt and Auntia found a pattern for miniature quilts that she wanted and a Love Is In the Air panel that was on sale ... we were standing in line and waiting for our fabric to be cut when i noticed that Auntia was looking a little green around the gills

are you okay?
no
are you gonna be okay?
yes ... i think i'm just hungry
oh now you're hungry!
i haven't eaten anything all morning ... you were supposed to remind me about the toaster streudel
what toaster streudel?
the Boston Creme Pie toaster streudel!
rut roh ... i offered you a cookie
i know ... i wasn't hungry then
so ... are you gonna be okay?
let's just go ... we can get this stuff next week
why don't you go out to the car and eat a cookie while i stay here and get this cut?
no ... thanks ... that's okay
seriously - you don't look so good ... go on out to the car and eat a cookie - i'll be out in a few minutes

so she left ... and i was alone ... in a quilt shop ... unsupervised ... but i stayed in line and had her panels cut and had our stash cards loaded and i was paying for our stuff when Dawn asked me where Auntia was

she went out to the car
oh! is she not feeling well?
yeah ... she's just hungry ... she'll be fine after she eats a cookie or two ... i kept trying to get her to eat something before we came in but she wasn't hungry ... blah blah blah ... and i told her that those boots...

i heard someone walk up behind me ... in boots ... but did i shut up? oh no no no

... were gonna make her feet hurt ... but she has to sacrifice function for fashion and...

and here i brought you a cookie!!!

gulp ... what the?!? i thought you were gonna wait in the car!!!

then the peanut gallery behind the counter piped in with

we want to see your boots!
yeah - let's see your boots!

those boots aren't made for walkin'
them are sittin' boots
so my daughter ... all five feet nuthin' of her ... climbed up on a counter-height chair and modeled her boots ... to the applause and dismay of all ... i could not believe my eyes ... she is incredibly afraid of heights ... she doesn't even like to be on the bottom of a step stool ... but there she was - four feet off the floor - doing a great imitation of America's Next Top Model ... and i can only think that it was because sometimes i make Auntia crazy ... bless her heart

7 comments:

Shannon said...

This quilt project sounds like oh, so much FUN....LOL

Jennifer said...

You two are great....I read Auntia's post with her side of the story, it's a little different to yours you know.......but oh my, those boots!

Kim said...

But WAIT! What did you name the QUILT?! Sheesh! Cute boots--I might need some in black. Then again, they might make my butt look big. (Whaddaya mean my butt IS big?! BTW, I gather there's an Oprah show tomorrow about accessories to make us look taller, thinner, yada, yada, yada--must see TV!)

Annemiek said...

Stop thinking about names for that quilt!It's Mr Husker's homestead quilt and that's it's name. You will always call it that, no matter what you put on the label. My DD's quilt is called "homeward bound", but how do we call it? "the houses quilt" Once you have a "worktitle" it'll never change, believe me!
Those boots? Haha!! How fancy and nonpractical..just like my DD would do. Keepin up appearances!! LOL

Mama Spark said...

I laughed my bleep off when I read this. And I'm with Kim What *did* you end up naming that quilt?? I like those boots too but they are for the young!

Isabelle said...

Those boots don't look very practical...

Thelma said...

How does she keep those boots clean, that's what Enquiring Minds want to know!!

I hope your paper piece BOM is today, I love these class stories!