Friday, December 31, 2010

spouting off

LuLu wanted to
way down yonder where the dolphins play
where you dive and splash all day
waves roll in and waves roll out
see the water squirting out of your spout
wish you and yours a peaceful, happy, healthy new year!!!
from me, too...

Saturday, December 18, 2010

half-baked fruitcake

last night was the second FNSI for december ... unlike Auntia, i didn't get an early start ... i know, i know, i know that it was the one week anniversary of her 24th birthday, but jeez-louise enough already ... anywho ... i worked on the last of the embroidered teapots for the PPSS BOM quilt...
we're three little teapots - short and stout
that's 24 of them and i am done ... and the next time i get a brilliant idea that involves paper-piecing and embroidery, would somebody please smack me upside the head?!?

last year i fell in love with Figgy Pudding by Basic Grey for Moda ... but i waited for it to go on sale at my lqs and missed out on all but the peppermint/brown/ice blue ... so when i found out that this year Basic Grey was gonna have Fruitcake, i ordered a layer cake and two charm packs, sight unseen ... i really should have waited ... fruitcake is okay, but it ain't figgy pudding ... anywho ... i had the precuts and bought a bit of yardage so i could make christmas packages with the layer cake and a smaller version with the charm packs ... except i didn't really like making the christmas package blocks and i was sure that making twice as many of the same block with 5 inch squares instead of 10 inch squares was not gonna be something i'd ever make myself do ... so i decided to try out the Lil Twister that Auntia bought for me with some of her shop hop winnings on the charm packs ... i sewed 81 of the charms together into a big square with a three inch border all around and then started whacking away with a rotary cutter and the Lil Twister ... we don't have a design wall, so i cut and sewed one row at a time and ended up with looks wavy cuz i was too tired to straighten it out on the floor
which is kinda cool considering that the pinwheels didn't require cutting any triangles or matching any points even if i am not all that crazy about most of the fabric ... i like these little guys...think they're getting dizzy?
they look like little snowmen marshmallows swirling around in a cup of hot chocolate ... anywho ... i worked on the twisted fruitcake last night after i finished embroidering the teapots ... i was ready to put on the outer border of my one and only figgy pudding fabric...bleck!!!
oh. no. that is not gonna work ... so the little flimsy is folded up and put away till i finish with the layer cake blocks - maybe there will be a bit of border fabric left for twisted fruitcake

the oven timer just went off and now i am gonna go eat a big piece of chicken pot pie cuz that's how i roll

Saturday, December 11, 2010

what would YOU do?

well ... Mr. Modem seems to have had a change of heart ... and i'm gonna post a picture or two

Auntia said that she wanted a white chocolate raspberry cake for her birthday ... i tried to tell her that raspberries are outta season and if she really wanted a white chocolate (seriously?!? white chocolate?!? why bother?!?) raspberry cake, she should have been born in summer ... anywho ... i had to go to the store to buy the raspberries and cake mix and frosting and white chocolate chips... and that's not counting the eggs and oil and flour and oven time
after a gazillion trips up and down the same aisles looking for things i don't normally buy like white chocolate i realized that it was getting really, really late ... it was dark ... and cold ... and i knew that when i made it back home i still had to bake the lasagna and make a salad before i could start in on the cake ... and there was the FNSI list to consider...
i took a quick walk around the bakery and found this...white chocolate (check) raspberry (check) ... gasp ... already ready
i felt like John Quinones ... what would YOU do? trim a quilt or bake a cake ... trim a quilt or bake a cake ... so i kept the cake ingredients in the cart ... and added the already-made but incredibly expensive cake, too ... then i went home and told the birthday girl who was busy ignoring the sinks full of dirty dishes that i'd decided to splurge and give her a fancy bakery cake instead of a homely, homemade one ...... seriously, what would you do?
trim the quilt and eat the cake!!!

thor ... thumb

our Internet connection has been in the toilet for the past week and i haven't been able to blog or read blogs or surf or spend any money online wah wah wah ... our local DSL provider says that a new modem will be the answer to our connection problems can you tell that i am not convinced?!? and it will arrive on monday give or take a week or two... posting tomorrow for FNSI is iffy cuz i have to beg and plead with our link to puh-lease let me finish my online work ... so i am going to schedule this to post tomorrow morning, even though i am writing it today and some of it hasn't happened yet...

december 10th is Auntia's 24th birthday ... by this time 24 years ago, i knew i had given birth to a screamer ... to celebrate, Auntia slept in ... and then we went to renew her learner's permit ... i know ... i know ... believe me, i know that she is eight years overdue for upgrading from learner's permit to license ... anywho ... per the sign on the door the first office that we went to has been closed since august due to budget cuts ... i was suspicious when we called the listed number to find out what their hours are and it went to a disconnect recording - even though it is still listed on the Colorado DMV general information number ... i guess budget cuts have affected being able to update recordings, too ... anywho, armed with the address for one of the five offices that are still in existence to serve a metro area with almost 3 million people, we went searching for 500 malley drive in Northglenn ... who knew that there wasn't enough money in the budget for Northglenn to put block numbers on street signs ... i considered going home to Yahoo map the address but then i remembered that the Internet connection is iffy ... so we drove around Northglenn for a while and finally spotted a sign in a rundown-beat-up-seen-better-days strip mall that said "driver licence" ... i guess it's the best that our budget-deficit state can manage even though licensing and fees have done nothing but go up and up and up ... i sat down and waited while Auntia stood in line to get a number ... sat down and waited for an hour ... number was called ... stood in line for another 20 minutes ... information was exchanged ... sat down ... name was called ... money was exchanged ... stood in line for another 20 minutes ... picture was taken ... stood around some more ... name was called ... learner's permit was handed over ... i can't think of a more exciting and fun way to spend a birthday than listening to over a hundred peoples' life stories about why they need their licenses reinstated/renewed/issued ... there are privacy laws for the line at the pharmacy cuz we wouldn't want some dude to be embarrassed when he's picking up his erectile dysfunction pills - but if your driver's license/state id/learner's permit has seen better days, the whole world gets to hear all of the sordid details ... okay, nuff said about that

by the time we were finished it was past lunchtime and i asked Auntia where she wanted to go for lunch...
Taco Bell
Taco Bell is okay for fast food when i don't have anything else to do but hang around the loo for the next day or two, but a birthday lunch oughta be ... well ... more ... like sitting down and having my food brought to me ... and the dirty dishes taken away ... a refreshing after-dinner mint would be appreciated ... but it was not my birthday ... so i sat through the drive-through line at Taco Bell and bought her the Chicken Enchilada Grilled Stuft Burrito Combo ... then i took her home and she opened her presents which are almost all quilt-related and she watched John Cena's guest appearance on one of the stoopid talk shows that have replaced soap operas for daytime television ... the rest of this is gonna be what i HOPE happens, since it hasn't happened yet...

earlier this week i finished quilting the "eff" quilt , took it off the frame, and Thor has been loaded with Auntia's christmas present ... i am gonna try to get some of it quilted if Auntia can get her Thumb to agree to go near enough to thread some bobbins ... and i'm gonna help Auntia trim the "eff" quilt ... i am also gonna work on one of the embroidered teapots ... and maybe i'll make a bit of progress on the twisted fruitcake ... i have to bake and frost a cake, too ... and sing happy birthday to her

Sunday, December 5, 2010

rule of thumb

this is Thor...i used to believe that Thor's last name was Svenson ... but now i know that he is a member of the Batrastardson clan
this is the flimsy that Auntia loaded onto Thor's quilting frame...oooo!!! Lakehouse Hydrangeas!
to quilt for Michael Myson ... she loaded the bobbins and threaded Thor ... she put on her ear buds and started to stitch ... i was in the magick shoppe working on some fruitcake christmas packages ... i heard the usual colorful words that are muttered whenever one of us is trying to get Thor to cooperate ... i didn't pay much attention ... i was rocking with the Steve Miller Band when i heard an urgent
can you come help me?!? please?!?
i sighed and muttered
can you hurry?!? please?!?
i'm coming! okay ... what?!?
could you please help me ... my thumb is stuck on the machine
your thumb is what?
my thumb whimper ... is whimper stuck ... on the needle whimper whimper... please help me!
oh ... my ... gawd...
there was Auntia ... leaning over the quilting frame ... with her thumb impaled on Thor's big fat needle...that is one big fat needle!!!
all the way through my baby girl's thumb ... i took hold of her hand and slid it down and off the needle ... and cut the thread that was embedded in it ... and followed her up the six stairs to the kitchen ... i pulled out the thread and held her hand under cold running water ... rinse and squeeze ... rinse and squeeze ... again and again and again ... the bleeding stopped and i turned to take two or three steps to get a kleenex to wrap around her thumb...
i turned back to find my baby girl crumpled face down on the kitchen floor ... i carefully rolled her over ... her eyes were open and i said
what hurts, baby girl?
my thumb!
okay ... what else?
my head!
she closed her eyes ... opened them ... and groaned
and now i know that
when Auntia faints, it is with her eyes open and she talks just like when she's asleep
and b) i should never leave her alone with Thor Batrastardson
and thirdly) i need to make her sit down with her head between her knees if she has been injured ... even if she insists that she is okay

she is bruised from head to shoulder/elbow/wrist to hip/knee/ankle ... and her thumb hurts ... she is refusing to go anywhere near Thor and this is a direct quote doesn't care if that effing quilt ever gets effing quilted cuz she effing hates it...

the fingers must be educated, the thumb is born knowing
Marc Chagall

Saturday, December 4, 2010

crunch time

LuLu and her very own pile of leaves
crunching, crinkling autumn leaves
spiraling, swirling in the breeze

Julie Perkins Cantrell

Friday, December 3, 2010


there are gonna be two Friday Night Sew-Ins this month

the first one is next friday
december 10, 2010
and the crowd goes wild cuz that is
my baby girl's 24th birthday

and the second one is the next friday
december 17, 2010
and the crowd goes wild again cuz that is
the one week anniversary of my baby girl's 24th birthday

mmm hmmm...
december is all about Auntia

guest blogger III

a go knee off the feet

these are Michael Myson's Bronco crocs
he wears them every time the Broncos play a game of NFL football
they are his lucky Bronco shoes
he wears lucky Bronco underwear, too

maybe Michael Myson oughtta try the left shoe on his right foot and the right shoe on his left foot ... or maybe his lucky underwear isn't so lucky and he needs some new underoos ... cuz

the Broncos are 3-8

we know all about the agony of defeat

Thursday, December 2, 2010

nope ... not yet

thank you for the quilty love for neat ... sweet ... petite ...... i gotta say that Blogland liked it a lot more than i did ... i was more than ready for it to go live in someone else's world

still can't bring myself to put pen to paper or, rather, fingers to keyboard and write about the drama and trauma shudder

Kim asked, so i'm gonna show how HPV not the virus is coming along...Hester's U-Pick
is stitched ... and...Spooky Lou's Quality Pre-Owned Brooms
is stitched ... and of course there can't be a used-broom lot without a service department...bristle lube while you wait ... yeah, i've heard that one before
i dunno where the first picture that i took of the service shop went it's probably in digital hell ... so i took it again in incandescent light which isn't very green of me but CFLs make my stomach heave and it looks kinda orange but it isn't in real life ... anywho ... that's ten buildings stitched ... and two more to go ... sigh