Friday, January 29, 2010


this morning had all the potential for a beautiful sunrise ... the sky was clear ... it was cold and crisp ... and there was a bit of a breeze ... it smelled clean and fresh outside ... but the sun rose above the horizon without coloring the sky ... no fanfare ...... and the day was a looooong one
but take a look at this...Mike - the guy across the street - was working on tires or brakes or something on one of his cars and kept looking over at us like we were nuts ... or maybe cuz the flash was a bit distracting
that isn't the sun - it's the moon!Auntia took these pictures
... isn't that just the prettiest thing?

the freezer in the kitchen is jam packed with stuff ... and whenever i open the door something falls out ... some of the stuff has been in there for a very, very long time ... anywho, for the past few days the plastic bag that i keep the leftover bread in has been falling on my foot - it doesn't hurt as much as the tub of spaghetti sauce but it doesn't feel good, either ... the third time it fell from grace i decided to leave it out ... i dunno how many different kinds of bread were in there - potato bread and white bread and wheat bread and oatmeal bread and a bagel or two and french bread and italian bread - whenever i can't remember when i bought a loaf of bread, i tear whatever is left into pieces and put them in the bag ... and then i make bread pudding...i love me some comfort food
...there are only two people in my family who will eat bread pudding - Mrs. Moth and me - everybody else makes gagging sounds and bitter-beer faces and ugly remarks about eating a bowl of soggy bread ... but i looooooove it ... so i made a casserole for me ... and a casserole for Mrs. Moth ... and another bigger casserole for me ... i think i will go eat some of it now ... and maybe i won't eat it all up before i find a recipe for whiskey sauce and get it made cuz the only thing that is better than bread pudding is bread pudding with whiskey sauce

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

al dente

for several years Al Dente had an affair with his mistress .... ... one night she told him that she was pregnant ... he gave her a lot of money to go into hiding and have the child in secret ... Al promised that if she remained in hiding and raised the child that he would provide child support till the child reached the age of eighteen ... she agreed, but asked how Al would know when the child was born ... he told her to mail him a postcard with the word spaghetti written on the back ...... nine months later Al Dente came home from work to his confused wife...

Honey, you received a very strange postcard today!

Oh? Well, just give it to me and don't worry your pretty little head about it anymore.

Mrs. Dente handed over the postcard and watched as her husband read the card ... Al turned white ... grasped his chest ... and fell down ...dead

on the card was written:

spaghetti spaghetti spaghetti spaghetti spaghetti

three with meatballs

two without

send extra sauce

this message was brought to you by my sister ... she has a funny bone bigger than alaska

Monday, January 25, 2010

happy birthday

to Robert Burns yes, Auntia ... you may now take possession of your plaid Gingher scissors
and to celebrate dear Rabbie's birthday, here's his poem about haggis...

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy of a grace As lang's my arm. The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hudies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o' need, While thro' your pores the dews distil Like amber bead. His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut ye up wi' ready slight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like onie ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reeking, rich! Then horn for horn, they stretch an' strive: Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive, Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve Are bent like drums; Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, 'Bethankit!' hums. Is there that owre his French ragout, Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi perfect scunner, Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view On sic a dinner? Poor devil! see him owre his trash, As fecl;ess as a wither'd rash, His spindle shank a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit; Tho' bluidy flood or field to dash, O how unfit. But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread, Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll make it whistle; An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned Like taps o' thrissle. Ye pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o' fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware, That jaups in luggies; But if ye wish her gratfu' prayer, Gie her a Haggis!

for those of us who need a translation, there is a wonderful site here that will tell you just what it is that Robert Burns was saying...

Fair full your honest, jolly face,
Great chieftain of the sausage race!
Above them all you take your place,
Stomach, tripe, or intestines:
Well are you worthy of a grace
As long as my arm.

The groaning trencher there you fill,
Your buttocks like a distant hill,
Your pin would help to mend a mill
In time of need,
While through your pores the dews distill
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour wipe,
And cut you up with ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like any ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm steaming, rich!

Then spoon for spoon, the stretch and strive:
Devil take the hindmost, on they drive,
Till all their well swollen bellies by-and-by
Are bent like drums;
Then old Master of the house, most like to burst,
'The grace!' hums.

Is there that over his French ragout,
Or olio that would sicken a sow,
Or fricassee would make her throw-up
With perfect disgust,
Looks down with sneering, scornful view
On such a dinner?

Poor devil! see him over his trash,
As feeble as a withered rush,
His thin legs a good whip-lash,
His fist a nut;
Through bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit.

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his ample fist a blade,
He will make it whistle;
And legs, and arms, and heads will crop
Like tops of thistle.

You powers, who make mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill of fare,
Old Scotland want no watery ware,
That splashes in small wooden dishes;
But is you wish her grateful prayer,
Give her a Haggis!

as for me putting a bite of haggis in my mouth ... the closest i'll ever come is my morning bowl of oatmeal ... and that must have plenty of butter and brown sugar ... unless, of course, each bite is followed by a sip or two of Dalwhinnie

Sunday, January 24, 2010


i've been arguing with Thor the sewing machine that we use for quilting all afternoon ... argghhhh ... the track that he runs on twisted up and threw Thor out of whack right in the middle of quilting outer space with lots of clunking that i'd never heard before ... i kept checking the bobbin since i've been known to try sewing with the bobbin flying around the bobbin case and re threading the needle and making sure that the presser foot was down ... clunk clunk clunk stop ...... after i put Thor back on the tracks and he was gliding back and forth like he's supposed to i heard a different clunk - one that i have heard before - the clunk of the needle hitting the plastic part of the presser foot instead of sliding down through the little opening like it's supposed to ... i kept trying to adjust the foot and thinking that i'd been successful but the clunking kept on keeping on till the needle broke ... i yelled and screamed and cursed about just how much i hate Thor and the horse he rode in on ... and then i changed the needle and re threaded him ... Thor started sewing like the brave viking that i know him to comes the sun
Mr. Husker's eagle over Long's Peak
...and if i ever have an extra five hundred dollars laying around i think i'll buy a stitch regulator for Thor ...... yesterday Auntia and i ran some errands and stopped in at JoAnn's to see if there was anything that we could use our 50% off coupons on ... it's almost impossible - they put just about everything in the store on sale for 10% - 40% off - so you get it for more instead of for less ... we bought some Dye Catchers with the coupons and a pair of plaid Gingher scissors that Santa didn't bring Auntia for christmas and these...peace out
...totes that we found in the clearance aisle for $2.97 each ... Morgana's Apothecary has already taken up residence in the black one ... and if i had know that Fons and Porter ergonomic seam ripper has seen better days
...was gonna happen i would have bought a replacement ... i have the seam ripper that i used in home ec in junior high school and it is still in one piece ... so much for new and improved ...... we also went to Target and found this...embossed hearts - don'cha just love it?!?
...which i coulda shoulda woulda lived without if i had never seen it ... but i'm thinking that maybe it isn't possible to have too many red cake plates ... and now i'm gonna go ignore the SS3 BOM block that is still lurking in the shadows

Friday, January 22, 2010

born to be wild

the last time i posted about the Other One's quilt i had just taken it off the frame ... i trimmed it up and machine stitched the chocolate brown flannel binding ... then i put it away for a couple of days ... but it was glaring at me with it's accusing eyes every time i walked past the magick shoppe ... so i finished hand sewing the binding and put a naming block on the back ... then it sat there till today - still staring at me ... i couldn't think of anything to name it ... the other 60th birthday quilts are named after songs and i couldn't think of any songs about wolves except hey there little red riding hood and she wolf ..... so i searched on songs with wolf and found wolf songs ... who's afraid of the big bad wolf ... hungry like the wolf ... the hungry wolf ... where the wolf bane blooms ... will the wolf survive ... wolf city
and i didn't like any of them ... so i meandered around some more and found Steppenwolf ... born to be wild ... yes! that would describe my youngest older brother...get your motor runnin' ... head out on the highway ... lookin' for adventure ... and whatever comes our way ... yeah darlin' go and make it happen ... take the world in a love embrace ... fire all of your guns at once ... and explode into space
so i wrote Born to be Wild on his quilt ... packed it up in an empty baby buttwipe box ... and took it to the post office two months early ... woo hoo!

like a true nature's child
he was born to be wild

Thursday, January 21, 2010

living will

my daughter and i were sitting in the living room ... i said to her

i never want to live in a vegetative state ... dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle ... if that ever happens to me, just pull the plug

she got up

unplugged the computer

and poured my wine down the drain

this post was brought to you by silvergirl1251 - which could be me but it isn't cuz i would be silvergirl152 and cuz Peggy took silvergirl first
besides ... Auntia would never, never, never unplug the computer

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

not another one?!?

our family has lottsa birthdays in january ... today is Mrs. Moth's birthday ... i still haven't forgiven her for arriving a month early and depriving me of a valentine's day baby - there is a long story about how that happened - and some of it is even kinda entertaining ... but i digress ... i baked the birthday girl a cake this morning and spared her the thirty-two candles plus one to grow on cuz that might have set off the smoke detector...i finally got to use my new red cake plate
and some cookies...hey! what happened to the rest of them?!?
russian tea cakes/mexican wedding cakes ... cuz that's what she said she wanted

happy birthday, Angela!!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

the baby whisperer

when LuLu is grumpy and won't stop fussing
i hand her to the baby whisperer...the baby whisperer and his sister LuLu
and then she is happy ... today is the baby whisperer's ninth birthday ... NoJo is the very best 9 year old in the whole wide world ... in one more year he will be double digits and then he can walk through the parking lot without holding my hand but i hope that he decides not to cuz i'm an old woman and if i fall down i might not get back up again ... his parents gave him a skating party yesterday and the rest of this post is pictures of the birthday boy's party...Auntia and LuLu and NoJo
NoJo, Auntia, LuLu and friends at the drinking fountain
Mrs. Moth and LuLu
Earth Science and Peanut Butter Cup
a table full of wacky kiddos singing happy birthday
last night NoJo went to a Nuggets game ... he was one of the lucky kids who were chosen to high five the players except for the Bird Man who was on a potty break or something ... and the Nuggets won ... today he is gonna celebrate some more at Dave and Buster's ... but tomorrow he has to go back to the daily grind and being my back-up baby whisperer

Sunday, January 17, 2010

ode to oh nine

i did NOT write this ode - though i wish that i had...

let's drink to '09
with a good belt of wine
(though whiskey may well be more fitting)
the Recession was hairy
the Swine Flu was scary
and Oprah announced she was quitting

while we loved Lady Gaga
the Octomom Saga
struck many as shameless and wrong
we witnessed the rift
between Kanye and Swift
and Phelps was caught smoking a bong

when a pilot's swift brain
saved his passenger plane
on the Hudson, the tale was a thriller
Balloon boy was phony
as rubber baloney
the abs on werewolves were killer

a governor's flame
was an Argentine dame
bringing scandal to South Carolina
there were pirate attacks
there was Goldman and Sachs
there was poisonous drywall from China

the Prez was sworn in
and he flashed us a grin
while exuding his usual charms
though some thought it shady
the stylish First Lady
asserted her right to bare arms

while Michelle was in Vogue
Sarah Palin went Rogue
and political tensions were showing
with the gathering storm
over health care reform
the Tea Party movement was growing

the Hollywood crews
gave us "Transformers 2"
while "Up" was a true work of art
there was Bruno (a jerk)
and a young Captain Kirk
and an overweight mall cop named Blart

those ad men on "Mad Men"
were sexy-yet-sad men
with lives full of pressure and toil
Adam Lambert came out
leaving no shred of doubt
and who didn't love Susan Boyle?

O'Brien shown bright
as the star of "Tonight"
Stephanopoulos stepped in for Sawyer
and of course a divorce
was so quickly in force
that we watched "Jon and Kate Plus Her Lawyer"

when a huge SUV
hit a hydrant and tree
the juiciest rumors proved true
the endorsements went winging
for that kind of swinging
just wasn't the Tiger we knew

and Pop lost its King
what a terrible thing
for a singer with hit after hit
there were songs and orations
and loud lamentations
for everyone knew this was it

there were others as well
who went out, sad to tell
we saw Cronkite and Kennedy fall
Bea Arthur is gone
Ed McMahon passed on
and Mary left Peter and Paul

with the passing of Farrah
we ended an era
and Soupy and Swayze went, too
DeLuise said goodbye
and the Oxy-Clean Guy
and the soft-spoken star of "Kung Fu"

yet some news was brighter
and made us feel lighter
in spite of our sorrow and peeves
there was Google Wave chat
and a keyboarding cat
there were trendy new blankets with sleeves

though we still can't erase
all the troubles we face
from the climate to high unemployment
let's be of good cheer
and they won't interfere
with our holiday fun and enjoyment

we'll turn from the news
to whatever we choose
be it Lifetime or ESPN
and after a break
we'll be ready to take
the big plunge into Two Thousand Ten

source unknown - proper credit cannot be given

Saturday, January 16, 2010

not so sew-in

i told myself that i should not and will not read any blogs this morning till i post about the Friday Night Sew-In ... so here goes...
i had plans ... i was gonna finish loading Mr. Husker's Homestead on the frame and start quilting the red borders ... i was gonna make the SS3 BOM block ... and then if there was any time left before the sandman came to visit i was gonna crochet a little on Auntia's coat or embroider a bit on Morgana's Apothecary ... in the meantime, i was gonna feast upon homemade soup and angel food cake with strawberries...
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley
whatever would we do without Robert Burns (whose birthday is coming up, by the way, on January 25)
even though i am neither a mouse nor a man ... my plans do often go askew ... the batting went on the frame ... the backing went on the frame ... the top went on the frame ... but when i tried to roll the backing onto the top leader it was upside down ... gasp ... i unrolled it and rerolled the other way ... it was still wrong ... i unrolled it and rolled it the first way ... still wrong ...... and then i remembered that if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got ...... so i whined for help ... Auntia took a look
you've got it backwards
how do i fix it?
you'll have to take it off and re pin it
i'll help
so we unrolled and unpinned and she stood there while i turned the backing around and started to re pin just to make sure i got it the right way ... after it was re pinned, i rolled it up and tried again ... now the fabric was pointing the right way, but it wasn't coming off the roller the way it should kinda like the toilet paper roll ... by this time i was more than whining - i was groaning and whimpering
what now?
it still isn't right - wah wah wah
you've rolled it the wrong way
do you know how many times i've done this?!? i'm tired and my back aches and i just can't do this again!
okay ... okay ... okay ... i'll help you mutter mutter mutter
by that time the last thing in the world that i wanted to do was quilt ... so i sat down and crocheted a few stitches on Auntia's coat/sweater ... she took a picture...those are some raggedy looking nails
my nails kept catching on the yarn, so i stopped and filed them and put on some lotion ... then i made a pot of tea* and got out my ME little peace of quiet mug...whenever my kids would ask me what i wanted for christmas, i always told them peace and quiet
i sat back down in the red chair and crocheted a few more stitches ... but i couldn't concentrate cuz rasslin' was on upstairs and it was loud ... so i asked Auntia for her CD player and started listening to An Echo in the Bone ... i've already read the book and i know what happens but i like being read to ... so i crocheted and listened ... and then Auntia brought me a basket of kettle corn and i ate it like i hadn't eaten in hours ... oh wait - i hadn't eaten in hours ... realizing that i was ravenous and i needed to wash the sugar off my hands anyway i warmed up a bowl of soup and scarfed it down while Ms. Porter read Willie out of his problems and crocheted some more ... and then i ran out of side seams ... one swell foop
i'd added five inches to the frontbackfront... and i didn't want to crochet anymore ... so i took out HPV not the virus and started to work on Morgana's Apothecary...Morgana may not have an apothecary, but she does have steps now
the next thing i knew it was one in the morning ... i'd listened to five CDs and my hands were tired...i love my red chair
i locked the doors and turned off the lights and went to bed ... i dunno what Auntia accomplished but i do remember a flurry of activity in the background and some flashes from the camera ... so i'm sure she'll fill us in

and now the house needs cleaning and the quilting frame is looking at me with loathsome eyes and the SS3 BOM is feeling quite betrayed ... but there is angel food cake and strawberries for breakfast

*note to self - do not drink a pot of tea after 8pm and expect a good night's sleep ... caffeine or no

Thursday, January 14, 2010

i say toe-may-toe

you say toe-mah-toe
i have and have had the world's loveliest aunties ... my Auntie Mabel crossed over and is now giving my dad the hugs that i cannot from this side and i really miss her ... anywho ... i call her Ahhn-tee Mabel ... my Auntie Frona is my mother's sister and is probably the sweetest little woman in the world ... she lives in California with my Uncle Al who just happens to be the world's best uncle cuz he thinks my jokes are funny ... and i call her Ant-tee Frona ...... most of my nieces and nephews call me dianne ... no ant or ahhnt, just dianne ... but my sister is Ant-tee Nicci ... she started signing her cards and letters to her nieces and nephews by drawing a little ant with a t ... and then she found stickers of ants and she used those ... and then she found three-dimensional ant stickers ... when Auntia sent Nicci a card, she taped one of the 3D ant stickers to the front of the envelope ... and when Nicci sent Auntia a thank you, she taped the 3D ant sticker in the return address ... by then the ant was missing most of her legs ... the next time she went though the mail she lost her butt ... it wasn't long till there was just a little ant head left ...... a couple of years ago we were looking through the summer clearance at Target and found a big old iron ant ... Auntia took it to Nicci where the ugly thing lives in one of her windows shudder and Nicci thought it was hilarious ... we look for ants now ... and when we find an ant, Auntia buys it for her auntie ... look what she found at JoAnn's...bug eyes
a flying strawberry queen ant on a stick! so this little jewel of a bug has gone to live with Auntia's Auntie Nicci ... and i gotta say that i am happy she's not living here anymore cuz i just don't like bugs

how do you say Aunt?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

outta sight

outta mind...
remember Hocuspocusville? well, i'm glad YOU do, cuz i sure didn't ... way back in october i traced out the next block - Morgana's Apothecary - and started in on the letters cuz i like to stitch the words first ... and then i decided the carrier that i was using for all of the stuff was awkward and unnecessary since i really only needed the stitchery, a hoop, some needles, a pair of scissors, and the floss ... so i transferred the stitching and necessities into a ziploc bag and put the rest into a big tote that is hanging on the back of the magick shoppe's door ... outta sight...
outta mind...
the rest of what happened is kinda blurry ... i was sitting in the oldmanleather chair, about to start stitching on the lost dog sign ... i remember taking off the hoop and putting everything into the ziploc bag so nothing would spill onto it ...... that was three months ago ... there was halloween ... thanksgiving ... christmas ... new year's ...... and this morning i remembered HPV not the virus and went looking for it ... somehow the ziploc bag had found its way to my bedroom where i hardly ever stitch cuz i lose needles and pins and then find them in the worst of ways and was under a bunch of folded but not put away clothes ... totally outta sight ... and totally outta mind...can't ...... breathe
sealed in plastic which is very not good for the fabric or the floss and sealed from my list of things to work on ... sheesh...three months and that's all you have done?!?
Hocuspocusville is one of my favorite wivvsp's and i have no deadline for finishing it ... so i stopped working on HPV in late october cuz i was crocheting the outer edge on an afghan for the m&ms for christmas ... and then i started on this...Family Circle's easy crochet Spring 2007
openwork coat for Auntia ... i finished the sleeves and started the frontbackfront ... when i was sewing down the binding on Little Nonnie's doll quilt i couldn't figure out why my fingers were so sore ... and then i remembered that i hadn't held an actual needle for a loooong time cuz i'd been crocheting ...... anywho ... Hocuspocusville is now out in plain sight ... the ziploc bag is open to the air and Morgana's gonna have an apothecary ...... someday

by the way ... i have joined in the Friday Night Sew-In for the New Year on January 15, 2010 ... commitment is atypical for me but the rules say that i don't have to actually sew ... i just have to promise to put aside some time to work on a project on my to do list ... and that i can do

Friday, January 8, 2010

today in history

Elvis Aaron Presley would have been 75 years old today ... i wonder what he would sound like as an older man ... i almost left off the er but then i remembered that he's less than 20 years older than i am ... that would make him older, not old ... in order to have some quilty content, i'm gonna post a picture of my sister's birthday quilt again...all shook up!
Itty Bitty was in utero when i gave it to her and Nicci didn't share all shook up! with anyone ... but grandchildren change everything ... now that she is a nonna, she and Itty Bitty take naps together with that kaleidoscope of Elvis and it makes me happy to know that my great niece and my sister are safe and warm whether i am there or not

Traveling Man is visiting from Mexico and i just realized again that he and the King have the same middle name but i think that Traveling Man's is spelled with two r's ... or maybe with one r and one a ... no - that's not right ... and that's the great thing about a failing memory - i get to rediscover things and it's the same joy as knowing new things for the first time over and over again ... anywho, i might get to see him tomorrow - i miss my sweet baby Trav and, yes, i do know that he is a grown man and a world traveler but he is also my sweet baby Trav

someday i'm gonna have to make another quilt for my sister ... i love to make things for her - she looks past the mistakes and the poor color choices and the fact that i find it easy to mess up squares and rectangles although she did tell me that i don't need to cut up fabric into such little pieces that she can't tell what it used to be - i think she was referring to the one inch square checkerboard border that used to be an Elvis print and is now too tiny to be discernible and focuses on the love ... and Nicci is profound - when Little Nonnie told her that she doesn't understand why would dianne make more than one quilt for anyone? and what is a person supposed to do with all those quilts? and how many quilts does one person need, anyway? my sister answered

well, i need at least one more than i have!

happy birthday to the King!

Saturday, January 2, 2010


today's date is a palindrome ... palindromes are too cool ... my house number is a palindrome ... and when the receipt for whatever i've purchased is a palindrome, i think well - it's a palindrome, so it must be okay even if it's for something that i should have left at the store

the quilting on the Other One's quilt is as done as it's gonna get ... i was supposed to finish quilting it yesterday so i would have two days to trim it and get the binding on before the end of the long weekend but then the quilting wouldn't have been finished on 01022010 and what would be the fun in that? but i ran out of sunlight ... anywho ... it is off the frame...that is a tall tree! and it has a twin on the other side
and i don't think it looks too bad ... i quilted the outline of wolves over the wolf stripes and panels, pinecones along the side borders, clouds and trees and an eagle on the top and bottom borders, and snowflakes in the sky and around the paw prints...steppin' out
some of the wolves are looking at each other or leaping...who you lookin' at?
and there are a few who are howling ... by the time i finished with the snowflakes, the sun was down again ... so that will be all for tonight ... there is still a lot of thread snipping to do - there are 72 snowflakes and i didn't cut bobbin threads between them ... i have the binding ready to go - it is a chocolaty brown ...... speaking of chocolate ... i think it is time for another cuppa